Eleonora, 20

If I could add one question to every personality test, it would be this: What do you do when nobody is expecting anything from you? I think the answer would reveal far more than whether someone is an introvert, an extrovert or whatever new category psychologists have invented this week. Some people immediately start looking for something useful to accomplish. Others become restless after ten minutes. Some discover a forgotten hobby, call an old friend or finally open the book that has been waiting on their shelf for six months. And a few lucky individuals can apparently sit in complete peace without feeling the slightest need to justify their existence. I admire those people. I am still negotiating with that particular talent. My problem is that I have too many different ideas about what constitutes a good use of time. My sensible side suggests reading something educational, practicing a language or going to the gym. My less sensible side argues that watching three episodes of a series is actually a valuable cultural experience. Both sides present convincing arguments, and neither has ever accepted the other's authority. I think this is why I dislike the idea that every interest must eventually become useful. Why can't we enjoy something simply because it makes our minds feel alive? I don't need to become an expert in music to love it. I don't need to write a book to appreciate a beautiful sentence. And I certainly don't need to turn every enjoyable activity into a business opportunity. Some things deserve to remain wonderfully unnecessary. I have always been fascinated by how differently people define a successful day. For one person, it means completing an enormous list of tasks. For another, it means finally having a difficult conversation. Someone else might consider the day a success simply because they laughed so hard that their stomach hurt. I don't think any of them are necessarily wrong. Personally, I would hate to reach the end of my life and discover that I had been extremely efficient at doing things I didn't particularly enjoy. I want achievements, certainly, but I also want stories, ridiculous memories, unexpected interests and the occasional day that produces absolutely nothing except happiness. Perhaps that sounds like a strange philosophy for someone who enjoys discipline and challenging herself. But I don't see a contradiction. I can work hard toward something important and still believe that life should contain a generous amount of delightful nonsense. And yes, I realize that writing all this on a dating site is slightly unusual. I could probably make myself sound much more impressive by listing achievements and describing my ideal man in carefully selected adjectives. But I would rather give someone a glimpse of the conversations that happen inside my head. I am interested in love and a genuine relationship, although I don't believe another person should be responsible for making my life interesting. I would prefer to meet a man who already has his own reasons to enjoy being alive. Someone who can tell me about a completely ordinary day and somehow make it fascinating because of the way he sees things. I don't need every conversation to be profound. In fact, I hope some of them will be spectacularly silly. But I would like to meet someone with whom I never feel obliged to pretend that being busy is the same thing as being happy. And if he knows how to spend an entire afternoon doing nothing without feeling guilty, I may need him to teach me. I promise to be a reasonably cooperative student.Read more

My favorite hobby is learning languages. I love discovering how people from different countries express their thoughts, feelings and even humor. Sometimes one unusual word can tell you more about a culture than an entire travel guide. And I find it fascinating that the same sentence can sound romantic in one language and absolutely ridiculous in another!

I came to this dating site with a simple but exciting idea. Somewhere in the world there is a man whose story hasn't crossed mine yet, and perhaps one conversation is all it takes to change that. I want a relationship where friendship grows into attr