How to Avoid Awkward First Dates
Well, you have met a cute person and are going to have a date with them. It remains to make sure that the evening does not top your list of "10 most awkward events in my life." How to make a good impression and not look narcissistic? What to talk about and what to rely on, to avoid awkward silence or seem too talkative? There are a few simple dating etiquette rules that are best followed.
Preparations for a first date take a lot of time, so you need to think about them in advance. Those who are very nervous should remember that the partner also feels awkward about the upcoming meeting. Making no mistakes sounds not too realistic and, what is more, you can leave a good impression, even without it, just remember that any awkward situations can be prevented or sorted out afterward. Why are the first dates so awkward and how to worry less about them? This is exactly what we will talk about below.
Why First Dates Are Always Awkward?
Love is a battle. With the human environment, with emerging problems, with yourself and your insecurities. Sometimes we fail in this war. Sometimes, after many years, it looks ridiculous, and sometimes it remains sad. We are ashamed to turn back to these events but not ashamed to tell. And each of us had at least once that one most awkward first date.
An uncomfortable moment can happen when there is a meeting with a person whom you have not seen before. Those who make an appointment “blindly” after communicating via the Internet should ask in advance to send a selfie or chat “live,” for example, via Skype. In this case, you will not be disappointed. Because it can sometimes happen that the person in real life does not correspond with the image they created about them online. For instance, single women may turn out to be married or have kids they did not warn you about. Another fail here is the way you react to this, for example, if you approach a person with a disappointed face or even tell something like, "Well, I expected you to be slimmer/taller/shorter/less eccentric-looking" - you can be sure the date is ruined.
Another embarrassment appears if you suddenly realize that you don’t know how to greet each other. How to avoid an awkward first date greeting? Remember that a date is not necessarily stressed, although the excitement on it is quite justified. You can sincerely smile and nod with your head as a sign of greeting, joke or immediately give a compliment, saying that the partner looks great.
The Most Awkward Things That Can Happen
First dates should be treated as funny moments with a person you still don’t quite know what you might fall in love with. Otherwise, why else go to them? To be true, the first date should be called “awkward moments of a romantic nature,” because that’s what happens to them. Now you might think, of course, not all first dates are filled with awkward situations. We will not deny that some of them are just fantastic, but still, there are such meetings from which you want to escape. So what can be awkward first date fails?
1. Any of you is late
It happens that a date is a mess from the very beginning: you agreed to meet at six, it’s already half-past six, and you are still waiting. It seems okay, but still gnawing doubt: what if they don’t come? If you are late, there is also a reason to be nervous: you never know whether the person waits for you or will they get mad and leave without letting you know. Anyway, if you are already late for your first date, there may not be a second one.
What to do
Prepare everything in advance. Ideally, it is related to every aspect, including getting ready and the road, at least 30-40 minutes more than usual. The first date is a rather nervous event, so there will be no extra time. On the eve of the date, specify the time and place of the meeting so that none of you messes up anything. If you understand that you cannot arrive on time, be sure to warn the person who is waiting for you. The usual politeness, nothing out of the ordinary. Even if you have got acquainted with the best site to meet women, they do not owe you anything and may go home if you get seriously late.
2. Your interlocutor on the photo and in life are two different people
You have spent hours communication online, seemed to like each other and agreed on a date, but here's a surprise - the person who you expected to see was not the one who arrived at all. Whether they had someone else's photo as their profile’s picture, or their own but old or photoshopped to the state of being non-recognizable - in any case, you did not get what you expected. What is awkward about the first date, that you may have never heard the voice of the person either.
What to do
If you meet online, choose proven services to find a partner. As a rule, they take care to save users from such problems. For example, Badoo has a verification system. If the user’s profile has a blue checkmark, then the moderators checked everything and can prove that this person is in the photo.
If you want more photos, ask the person you are chatting with for them. You can even go on a virtual date before a real one – have a video chat or a Skype call. Live conversations will help break the barrier of embarrassment at the time of transition from online communication to real, so you will feel more at ease.
3. You do not know how to greet each other
It’s too early to jump on a person with embraces, and the awkward, “Uh, hi” is somehow completely depressing. In the end, both of you are standing and rushing, not daring to start a conversation. Not only teenagers are embarrassed on the first date - adults and completely independent people also feel uneasy.
What to do
Remember: feeling shy is normal. You see each other for the first time, so it’s not strange that at first, there will be a feeling of stiffness. Do not close yourself - you have a date to have a good time, so try to relax. How to not be an awkward first date in this case? Think that your interlocutor is also probably not very comfortable, so do not hang on them the obligation to stir up and entertain you in every way. Smile and joke (just not on the brink) since you went on a date, it means that this person attracted you with something, so let them feel it.
4. An awkward pause in the conversation
The conversation doesn’t feel easy, as if you both constantly seek what to say or ask. You are trying to talk about one thing or another, but the conversation is constantly fading. As a result, the date turns into torture: you just sit, being silent and want to go home faster. It’s a pity, but at first, everything looked promising.
What to do
The first date is like an interview: the more carefully you prepare for it, the better it will go. If you met online, it’s generally easier: go over the list of their interests you have talked about, if they have mentioned something unfamiliar, then google to at least roughly understand what it is about. As a result, you get a list of topics that you can discuss when the conversation comes to a standstill.
How to avoid awkward silence on the first date? When it is not possible to study the interests of a person in advance, you have to do it right on a date. Your sincere willing to know the interlocutor better is a sign that you liked them, so feel free to admit this and ask questions and do not hesitate to clarify if you know little about any of their hobbies. Tell about yourself too – what if suddenly there are some common grounds between you? There will be a reason to meet again.
5. The interlocutor is as if glued to their smartphone all evening
You are trying to talk about something, but in vain: the interlocutor only raised their head from their screen a few times since the beginning of the meeting, it seems they do not even notice you. Apart from showing indifference, the person can even look irritated when you ask them something. As if their phone is more interesting to them than you. It seems they do not care at all: what kind of person you are, just do not interfere with their lovely interaction with their device. As a result, you despair of attracting their attention and also pick up a smartphone. Great date, 10 out of 10.
What to do
Perhaps your partner has any urgent questions about work, maybe they need to solve something with family or friends. Ask what the problem is - if something is really important, it might be better to postpone the date for later. If they answer all questions, “No, no, nothing urgent” but continue to stubbornly stick the finger on the screen, unfortunately, it is unlikely that such an awkward first date will grow into something serious. They are not very interested in you, or they are another victim to being device-dependent, anyway, both options put an end to the development of relationships. It happens, do not be discouraged.
Сan This Awkwardness Be Mitigated?
Sometimes a first date is awkward because you are generally two different people not made for each other, your interests do not match, and you are not birds of a feather. However, in other cases, some unforeseen circumstances may cause this strange feeling of awkwardness, and they do not fully depend on you. Let's some of you had a long tiring day or are not in the best mood at the moment. We all experience ups and downs and feel miserable without any particular reason. If the day of the date happened to be that day, it is better to postpone the meeting or try to tune yourself into the right mood using methods that work for you.
Try to relax and think about how cool is that you can finally meet a person you have talked to online. Imagine how good of a time you will spend together, and maybe they turn out to be the love of your life. Always give every date a chance. And if it turns out to be not the best – this is life, and different situations happen. After all, there is a great tip concerning first dates, "Do not worry whether or not they like you, think about whether you like them." Care about yourself first, the other person feels no less strained, it is for sure. So, focus on good things, and you will radiate the positive vibe.
There is also another tip on how to not have an awkward first date. Everything depends on you and your preparation. If you are not sure what to wear, think about the place where you go or discuss what to wear together, in general, ask the person more to get more information. Do not be afraid to ask for details, your date for tonight will be only glad to feel that you appreciate their opinion and want to come well-prepared. After all, especially if you are young or have little experience in the sphere of dating, you cannot always predict what the person secretly wants, hopes for or expects from you.
Tips on How to Avoid Awkwardness on a First Date
Preparation is the key to learning how to avoid awkward first dates. But sometimes strange and stupid situations appear suddenly, and you have to cope with them on the go. How to immediately fight all kinds of discomfort on a date – consider our tips.
Self-irony will save you
In shameful situations, it is best to laugh it off and transfer the conversation to another topic. Such stories even bring together: on the first date you want to show your best sides, as a result, you are nervous and are afraid to say or blurt out something wrong. Things you had been afraid of already happened, so you can finally relax and be yourself. The worst thing you can do is whine all evening about your clumsiness and constantly recall the annoying incident. Well, okay, you did something wrong, now do not suffer until the end of life because of such nonsense.
Think in advance what you will do
A date without a more or less clear plan is a so-so venture. You are not yet close enough to chat about anything for hours, so it’s better to choose an option where you don’t have to try hard to entertain each other.
Find out what your companion is fond of: maybe they are crazy about movies about superheroes (which means you can go to the cinema) or love extreme sports (welcome to the amusement park). You can together decide how to have fun in advance or try to impress them and make a surprise. You risk a lot in this situation, but if everything goes well, you will win their recognition and leave a fabulous impression.
Honesty is the best policy, so don’t beat around the bush
This is especially true in terms of money. It is better to admit to your companion that the activities you were involved in cost more than you planned. If you can help share the costs, then it would be great, just be sure to specify how and when you can repay the debt.
Another option is to call your friends to bring the missing amount if at the end of the date you find out that you didn’t bring enough cash. You'll have to wait, but then show that you can solve problems on your own (well, almost).
What if you do not want the date to continue?
If you don’t feel like it, don’t agree. You don’t owe anything to anyone. Just in case, remember the basic safety rules: warn loved ones where and with whom you are going, leave them the contact details of the person you are meeting with. The first date is best arranged in crowded places, it will be easier to get rid of an overly intrusive person.
Advice for the future: use only trusted dating services if you are used to meeting people online. In such apps, each user must get confirmed with a photo, mobile phone number or profile on social networks that the account belongs to him/her. Moderators should check all pictures that are uploaded to the application. And if someone attacks you with obscene messages, feel free to write to the support service, and the insolent will be blocked.
Do the preparatory investigation
In order not to waste time on dates with strange people, before the meeting, it is better to first communicate from a distance. Start with correspondence, then offer to chat at least a couple of times in video chat, for example, in the dating application. When you realize that you deal with a sensible and quite attractive person, feel free to make an appointment.
Awkward silence
This is a kind of rite that every couple goes on their first date. The awkward silence, in fact, is a normal phenomenon, though not very comfortable. There is a fear of saying something inappropriate and scaring the person. Most likely, at such a moment, the person is no less nervous than you are, so the awkward silence is not only your fault. Do not go too deep into the analysis of why the conversation is not going as easy as you would like it to, so imagine that you are now in the company of friends and behave as you usually behave with them.
First dates can be stressful so try to think less about the meeting itself. Do not focus on the things you feel now or the emotions you are likely to experience. Toxic thoughts like, "What do I wear?" "What if they do not find me attractive?" or "I feel so stressed, should I cancel all of this?" will not do you any good. Instead, think about the person and imagine only good things about your conversation. To learn to swim, you have to fight the fear of water and to start dating someone, you have you get over a first date.
When it comes to general safety measures, choose a place where both of you will be comfortable. But not too secluded. On dating sites, it is usually advised to date only in public places and say goodbye without regrets if you are invited home. The leaders on the list of crowded places are, of course, restaurants. But if you are both open to extraordinary scenarios, nothing prevents you, for example, from going on a joint walk with the dogs to the park. The presence of a pet is a noticeable plus when meeting people, at the same time, there will be something to talk about.
