What Is Ghosting Dating and How to Avoid It

Talking about ghosting dating that can happen in any relationship, imagine the following situation. You meet a person and start dating, and everything is so good that you are afraid to believe in the reality of what is happening: magical moments together, walks, dates, confessions. You feel a spark between you. The love chemistry is a powerful thing. The attraction can be very strong with the new contact of the two elements that you and your partner are.

However, after several dates or, perhaps, after several months of the relationship, something goes wrong. And this something baffles you. The partner starts ignoring the messages, coming up with reasons to delay another date, they become too busy, promise to call back, but they do not do that, and then disappear forever.

You ask yourself constantly, “Why did a loved partner do that?” Maybe, it will be easier for you to find out the reason for such a deed, however, in most cases, there is no sense in touching your mental wounds. The most important thing to do is to be aware of online dating ghosting and to learn to get through this situation with minimum moral losses.

What does it mean to be ghosted?

What is ghosting dating? Nowadays, the phrase “ghosting dating” has been used to outline a dating strategy which people use to break up with their partners or prevent dating them again.

It's a weird pattern of conduct, but it begins to become more popular, particularly among people who visit online dating sites. People ignore each other in different situations all the time. Some people prefer to take French leave breaking up with a partner. However, today, if you are involved in millennials ghosting dating, you know that this term has appeared because of a huge number of different dating sites and apps. You have an impression that it is very easy to find someone else, someone better or just a new option whom you can date and have sex with, and ghosting dating doesn't seem like an issue.

So, if you are looking for ghosting dating meaning, you should know that this is a situation when a partner breaks up the relationship without an explanation cutting suddenly all the ties.

Is ghosting a better way to break up?

Some people who are dating and ghosting their partners believe that they make the breakup easier and hint that “the game is over,” and they are not interested in the further relationship. They think that they don’t hurt the feelings of a partner by telling about their decision not to date anymore. However, such a behavior tells about immaturity and bad communication skills. People who are ghosted, feel confused and lost, they have so many questions in their heads.

Men and women treat different things in different ways, and ghosting in dating is not an exception.

Man’s vision. Men usually look outward for the cause of their troubles, accusing the circumstances or the women who have ghosted them. If they are fired, the boss is responsible for that because they haven’t managed to appreciate such a valuable employee. If they are ghosted by a beloved woman, they say that she is just self-serving, and she hasn’t been able to appreciate their pure and fair love. Perhaps, men suspect that they could have done something wrong, but they will never admit it, it is much easier for them to blame some objective circumstances and look for another ghosting dating meaning.

Woman’s vision. Women rely on subjective factors, that is, they look for the causes of their misfortunes in themselves. They ask so many questions in such cases, "What have I done wrong? Have I offended him? Have I enraged? Have I hurt his self-esteem? Well, he could not just leave without any explanation! There must be some reason. Maybe, I'm not beautiful enough for him. He might have found someone more interesting or younger!"

Why does ghosting dating happen?

Why do people ghost others? There are seven most common reasons that will be the answer to this difficult question.

1. They do not want to assume responsibility. When the love affair starts to slow down, someone needs to say, "It’s time to break up". Unfortunately, many people are afraid of assuming responsibility. At first, they postpone the decisive talk, and then they simply leave, being not brave enough to say the last word.

2. They are afraid of explaining. If only several words were enough to break up the relationship, "We are done," people would stop disappearing without explaining anything. However, since after these words a partner will probably want to figure out the reason for this decision, to try to talk and, maybe, to start blaming, some people prefer to ghost.

3. They are afraid of blaming. The person who has decided to break up becomes a guilty party a priori. And when a person does not have enough courage to admit their fault or explain the causes of their decision, they prefer to leave without giving an explanation.

4. It seems to them that you are on the same page. Problems are an integral part of almost any relationship. However, if there are too many problems, but people continue to be together by inertia, sooner or later, someone will decide to leave. Some people just do not understand why they need unnecessary heart-to-heart talks when it's kind of obvious.

5. They do not know how to make decisions. People who ghost somebody, are often ascribed some moral and ethical problems. If they are not used to taking responsibility and independent decisions, you should not expect from them noble deeds. To say, "Let’s break up" is not as easy as it seems. To do that, you should have a lot of resolution and clear thinking that not everyone has.

6. They have another partner. What is benching in dating? It is when a person is with you only when they have some problems with their permanent partner, and you are just a second choice. If the reason for the breakup is the presence of a long-standing partner, then it will be difficult for them to explain their decision. They just do not know what to tell you.

7. Your relationship does not move forward as they have planned. Sometimes, people do not plan anything serious starting a relationship. If initially the person needed only a one-night stand or a love affair, but at some point, they felt that you want something bigger, it is possible that they decided simply to go away from the "disaster" zone.

What is ghosting in text?

All can be ghosted despite their gender, religion, beliefs and political preferences. It happens all the time, and you can hardly avoid it. Anyway, everybody deserves to get the honest answer and be able to put a fine point on it. Everybody deserves respect while being rejected. People disappear after sending a usual message like, “Thanks for a great evening,” but without giving any explanation. There are some examples of messages that can be sent if you think you’re being ghosted.

• “You could just tell that you have lost interest. It would be at least honest.”
• “Since I haven’t heard from you, I decided to write you that we are on the same wave, and frankly speaking, I don’t think we will be more than just friends.”
• “Honestly, I have been waiting to get at least a message. However, wish you all the best, and hope another person will never be ghosted by you anymore.”
• “It’s high time to put a fine point on it. Thanks for leaving.”
• “I hope I was the last who had to deal with this garbage.”

How to deal with ghosting

Probably, there is some reason that you don’t know. However, you still manically re-read the correspondence and try to understand why they have disappeared telling the friends some details and asking what could go wrong. Even if you did not like the person very much, the fact of being involved in ghosting dating touches a sore spot. You are not thrilled with this mystery, and you certainly want to figure it out. Nonetheless, is it worth spending time on that?

When someone ghosts you, you are so worried that you forget the simple truth. If the person does not love you, this has little to do with you. It's not you but the past experience and preferences of the person. How to deal with ghosting and cope with emotional trauma? Here are five steps that will help you forget about the breakup.

1. Delete correspondence. You cannot change someone else's behavior, so, you should stop wasting time thinking about what you should have had to say or do differently. As soon as you destroy the evidence, you will no longer be able to return to them and reflect on this topic.

2. Spend time with people who reciprocate your feelings. The best friends and family will not ghost you. Switch energy and attention to people you can trust.

3. Open up to something new. A good way to recover after such a ridiculous breakup is to refocus attention on something else. Say, "yes" to the new and unexplored. If you are invited to a concert of the unknown musician, don’t refuse. If you are asked to the bar by the friend, go. If a friend offers you to go to the gym, lace your sneakers.

4. Go back to dating. It is hard to date people after someone has ghosted you. Try not to lose hope and be open to new acquaintances. However, if you want to delete all dating applications and concentrate on something else, give yourself a break.

5. Don’t ghost other people. You know how it hurts. You can come up with answers that will be sent to those whom you do not want to communicate with. Anyone who has hurt your feelings and ghosted you does not deserve your time.