How to Know that You Are in a Relationship with a Narcissist


A narcissist is a time bomb for people who are close to the one. We all are very sensitive to ourselves, except for committed fatalists and suicidal individuals. However, everything in life should be dosed accurately. Thus, communicating with narcissists can create a lot of problems for his relatives and friends. Therefore, the question of tactics in behavior with such individuals is quite pressing for a large number of people.

spot a narcissist

How to Spot a Narcissist In a Relationship

Let’s start with the causes of narcissism. It will be careless to believe that people are narcissists from birth. Of course, genes play an important role in the formation of any individual and the seeds of narcissism are there from birth, but the individual is formed by the family and society. The love of a narcissist to oneself often arises for the following reasons:

Excessive praise from parents. Since childhood, the little spoiled ones have been praised and extolled to unimaginable heights by other family members. Kids should be praised so that they do not develop an inferiority complex. However, feeding the excessive selfishness of the kid is extremely dangerous, because it may eventually lead to a frank self-esteem and lack of close people.

The little genius. Another reason for future narcissism of a kid is considering one a genius. However, some children do start impressing the society with their undoubted talents from an early age. In this case, everything depends on the parents, who neither should ruin the young talent, nor develop a pseudo-genius.

Lack of attention from parents. It is another trick to spot a narcissist. This type is the flip side of the coin. Some babies, as a compensation for their uselessness, start living their inner life. They begin to idealize their own identity, defending themselves against the indifference of the closest people.

Constant success in life. Fortune is a whimsical lady who can touch anyone. However, a systematic band of luck is able to turn an adequate man into a narcissist. In this case, luck can pursue an ordinary individual, which will create a halo of grandeur around one. It will be hard if not impossible to liquidate a newborn Caesar in him.

A protest against all and everything. It is worth to mention a very rare type: narcissists-rebels. They are immersed in self-contemplation only for the reason that they are tired of looking at what fate has given them. Basically, they are rather committed cynics, but the line between them and the new-born narcissist is very thin.

Note! Psychologists say that narcissism is the acquired quality of a behavioral model. Therefore, it is quite possible to fight such a mental illness, if the narcissist is really dear to the heart.

Signs of a narcissist

how to spot a narcissistic womanIf you suspect dealing with a secret erotomaniac or a committed hypocrite, this type of individuals are difficult to identify. However, if you are dealing with a narcissist, you will not have problems with the identification. So, let’s find out how to spot a narcissist. Psychologists, having studied the problem of high self-admiration in some individuals, came up with the following characteristics to identify such people:

1. Egocentrism. True narcissists believe that each and every person on earth owe them. They explain this statement in no way, because they have no time to conduct a dialogue with mortals. In their opinion, people around should realize their mistakes when dealing with the perfection all by themselves.

2. "I can see straight through you" scheme. The situation is very simple: no narcissist will ever listen to you, not to mention looking at you. Narcissists do not care about the problems of not only strangers, but also close relatives. They believe the main thing is not to lose the state of perfect self-contemplation, which has no place in everyday life and other ordinary trifles. It is difficult to communicate with such a person not because one is rude or ill-mannered. A narcissist just does not see the opponent until he starts making obvious compliments.

3. The cold soul. A narcissist has a very indifferent nature, even if something goes wrong, not so perfect and self-contemplating as planned. So, how to spot a narcissist woman? In this case, there are two ways to determine the explicit and hidden (inverted) narcissists. An open egoist frankly declares how indifferent he is towards the whole world. Ego-centrists do not care what disturbs their peace of mind. The inverted narcissist is extremely touchy, because he is the light shadow of his bright self-centered idol.

4. Arrogance. In this case, one immediately remembers the genealogical tree, which has become so popular in recent times. "How nobody became somebody" - this is an excellent statement for some upstarts. We are all equal in this world, but some people consider themselves to be not just the center of the Earth, but of the entire Galaxy. The lightest manifestation of this phenomenon is snobs. They do not do much harm, because these subjects are tightly limited by their own moral principles. The fact that the narcissist goes straight to the category "from rags to riches" looks worse. That is why you should be able to how to spot a narcissistic woman before things go too far between you.

5. Aggressiveness. If you try to remember the myth of a beautiful Narcissus, you will not see an emotion towards the surroundings. Lonely and abandoned Echo has gone into oblivion, which would never have happened in our time. We all clearly know our rights, and narcissist are not exception. Active egocentrists who are ready to look into a mirror or at a passport photo for hours will not tolerate a more brilliant competitor somewhere around. This will help you spot narcissistic personality disorder. The result is an excessive aggression towards those who do not accept the dignity of the narcissist.

Note! Psychologists strongly recommend to take a closer look at people with a similar pattern of behavior. Society often considers it necessary to watch out for aggressive psychopaths and hooligans. However, do not forget that narcissistic individual can destroy the life of a person, even if the person is one’s true love.

How to Deal With Narcissist in a Relationship

What are the consequences of going into relationship with a narcissus? How to deal with a narcissistic spouse?

First of all, you should understand that it will be extremely difficult to live and spend your time with such a person. The first task in this case is to make the narcissist pay attention to you. If you succeed in such manipulations, then you should consider the possible consequences of communicating with this type of individual:

The low self-esteem. The female peacock often feels uncomfortable when the male one with his bright plumage is around. It may sound silly but the fact is that a narcissist can destroy the personality of a beloved person.

The depression. The person is programmed in such a way that the relationship with a narcissist is unlikely to bring fireworks of emotions and a bunch of positive things. Strong people will immediately give up in such a relationship, which is not always as easy as it may seem. Even narcissists can provoke passion in their partners, even though the further development of the relationship will bring only suffering. Seeing the indifference from the egocentric partner, you are in love with, can easily make a person get depressed .

The revenge. A narcissist partner can cause both depression and completely opposite feeling. In this case, the egocentric one is likely to forget about the elementary sense of self-preservation when being around the furious admirer.

ways to deal with a narcissistCan a narcissist change in a new relationship?

All the mentioned consequences of communication with the narcissist do not demonstrate any hope for a further happy relationship. Psychologists strongly recommend starting an active fight against excessive egoism in your soulmates.

How to deal with a narcissistic partner? Being in a relationship with a narcissist is a test. If you love your narcissistic partner and ready to do your best to make your unity work, then go for it.

Tactics of communication with a man-narcissist

If a woman chooses a male narcissist as a partner, then she should listen to the following psychological advice:

The full equality of partners. A selfish guy is a tough guy. The male narcissist is likely to give you a hard time in the struggle for his heart. In this case, a woman should clearly express her feelings and requirements. Well, you may act according to your personal scenario. Just don’t let the narcissist wake up one morning and run away to a less aggressive partner.

The approval of partner’s actions. It is a well-known fact that narcissists have no time to do dirty tricks to other people and hurt them willingly. Therefore, the extra praise for their excellent communication skills will never hurt. It is not a big deal for a woman. Besides, the egocentric partner will feel like the world is spinning around him. Therefore, we praise and cherish our male narcissist till we are to give up.

The complete lack of criticism. “To approve” often also means “to judge”. Narcissists often listen to those women who are ready to reveal the bitter truth and list all their claims. Consequently, a wise woman, who was not lucky enough to fall in love with a narcissist, must be even more straightforward in her statements.

Tactics of communication with a woman-narcissist

So, how to deal with a female narcissist? A woman and her accomplishments are a complete mystery. Let’s look through ways to deal with a narcissist. A man, who is seeing a narcissist woman should take the following actions:

The surprise. The biggest failure when dating a narcissist is to obey to him completely. A man who loves himself too much will never see the efforts of a girl who does not value her own dignity. Take the Shakespeare's play "the Twelfth Night", where the beautiful Olivia did not want to talk to anyone, because everyone was praising her beauty and making her bored, so she decided to remain alone until the end of the days. You should know how to deal with a narcissist woman, unless you want her to disappear one day.

The intrigue. Do not joke with a narcissist woman, especially about her appearance. Do not show any doubts when complimenting her. It is vital for her to know that you have eyes for one woman only.

The sincere conversation. Everyone knows that women love when men say compliments, even if you are in a relationship with a narcissist.. However, in case of a narcissistic behavior, it is almost impossible to compliment her, as she already knows that she is perfect. A man who has fallen in love with a woman of this type must constantly try saying that she is the best indeed. The lady will not be surprised as it is obvious to her, at least she will not seek someone else to hear it from.

Life always has certain periods of failure and success, which one should not be surprised with. It is not very clever to claim that your partner is a complete loser. Even if you are in a relationship with a committed narcissist, you still have a chance. Follow the above mentioned recommendations and see where it leads you. No one can tell you whether you should stay in such a relationship or not. This is the question you should answer on your own.