What Does It Mean to Have Daddy Issues?

Men are looking for partners who are similar to their mothers and women seek to see an image of fathers in admirers. But everything is clear with boys – fathers teach them to be courageous, strong, take responsibility for themselves and others, fight for rights and protect weak people. And what about girls? Previously, the education of daughters was entirely in hands of mothers. In practice, it turns out that if a daughter grew up without a father (in the literal or figurative sense) or didn’t establish friendly contact with him, then a child has to fly through life as if without one wing. Psychologists were always interested in studying a relationship between a father and a daughter. What consequences can be in the future because of a bad attitude of a dad?

What are daddy issues?

This concept reflects a phenomenon from the field of psychology, which implies the presence of complexities in a woman in relationships with the opposite sex if she doesn’t get enough attention from her father in her childhood. So, what does it mean to have daddy issues? A girl, who feels a lack of paternal attention and love in her childhood, grows up with a sense of helplessness, with the fear of a huge world and unpredictability of life. She doesn’t know how to ask for help, doesn’t wait for support and counts only on herself. Success in life becomes a difficult business for her. Personal life, too, is not so easy.

Alertness and mistrust of men often lead a woman to control her husband, to suppress him, to take on male responsibilities. This is especially common when a girl was brought up only by her mother who “dragged all the hardships of life” or when a father in a family even didn’t have the right to say a word. It happens that a woman obsessively searches for the attention of the opposite sex, is easy and not legible in connections, easily enters into relations with men who show her attention. She seeks love and clings to all who will say a compliment or affectionate word to her. Or, by her behavior, a woman always wants to prove how good she is and, therefore, worthy of love. And her whole life turns into a continuous desire to “please him” in anticipation of attention and love in return.

Some women with daddy issues' symptoms torment men with a constant question: do you love me? Or tell me that you love me! Others women with daddy issues quietly suffer and sneak in frustration. Also, it happens that a woman is afraid to start a serious relationship with a man, doesn’t know how to build it, and avoids communicating with the opposite sex. She has a good career, sometimes she completely refuses a personal life and creates a family. Why should she be with a man? She is strong and can achieve everything on her own. There are a lot of troubles in a woman’s life who grows up without father’s love and attention.

Daddy issues psychology

Father is the first love of a woman. This was said by famous American psychotherapist, who specializes in matters of romantic relations and marriage. And if a girl didn’t feel that her father admires her, she is unlikely to expect an enthusiastic relationship with her future partner. This is confirmed by the results of numerous studies. And they are as follows: in girls emotionally closed and too restrained in the manifestation of parental feelings of men, self-esteem is usually much lower than that in girls who grew up under warm wings of fathers. What is more, unhappy ladies have more chances to get involved in relations with cold and even aggressive partners in the future. They get used to a particular pattern of behavior since childhood and they choose the same in the future (unconsciously, of course) because care, respect, and affection seem to girls something unnatural, suspicious, and undeserved. The work of a father is to convince his little girl that she is the most beloved and generally better than anyone else so that a girl has something to compare with when it comes to sweets, bouquets, and kisses. And, of course, he should strictly conform to an image of a real man so that her daughter knows how her future husband should look like.

Perfect dad = perfect man. But here’s a catch. Ladies are inclined to want too much from model men. One analyst once asked her students to sketch an approximate portrait of an ideal parent. Here’s what happened: they described a father as a strong, balanced, hard, active, and brave man; besides warm, loving, sympathetic, gentle, attentive, and emotionally involved in a relationship with a woman. So, women demand much more from their fathers than from their mothers. By and large, they would like them to be not even men, but ideal androgynous creatures. Experts generally argue that it’s extremely hard to be gentlemen in the modern world. And since a paternal image really affects how a girl perceives the entire male world, this is unrealistic and overloaded with expectations. Father issues leave a trace on girl’s psychology. The consequences of father’s absence:

• A girl with daddy issues loses social activity. She lacks self-confidence; some girls suffer from the lack of self-discipline and self-control.
• Girls who grew up in bad relationships with a father are often prone to frequent nervous breakdowns, stress, anxiety, and depression.
• Such girls are less intellectually developed. It is more difficult for them to learn, to decide on their profession. They are less targeted at higher education and career growth.
• Girls, who grew up without a father, marry earlier than their peers.
• Prolonged identification of sexual identity. Usually, a girl compares a potential partner with an image of a father. If she doesn’t have a father, then she creates an ideal image of a father in her head. This image is created from her environment: brothers, friends, relatives, movie heroes, etc. Not always this image is real.
• The lack of a pattern of behavior in marriage and family relations has a detrimental effect on the formation of a good attitude between a girl, her husband, and men in general. She simply doesn’t know how to be married.
• A girl who has at least one of daddy issues signs always tries to find a dad in a potential partner. She is looking for a person who can surround her with care and affection.
• Femininity is the most obvious sign that a woman has emotional problems. It means that she refuses any contact with men, isolates from communication with them, fears of talking to them or builds relationships with men purely to achieve her goals (sexual, professional, etc.).

Signs of daddy issues

It is often problematic for women who don’t have sufficient contact with their fathers to build social and intimate relationships with men. That is why, girls are looking for a specific man – a father or a relationship they think should be between a father and a daughter, but they are looking for it in a man who shouldn’t be a father. So, how to date someone who has symptoms of daddy issues?

1. Many women don’t know what it means to love a man

You should know that these women are waiting for love from men, they need protection, financial stability, and respect because they didn’t have it in their childhood, in their parents’ home. That is why when a girl meets a man who seems kind and considerate to her, she sees in him the opportunity to obtain important values for her, which she never received from a man. She begins to experience a subsidiary affection for him (which she often takes for love) just for his attention and concern for her.

2. They don’t trust anyone

Obviously, a girl who grew up with her father has some basic trust in male love. Even if the first love was unhappy, even if a serious romance/long relationship/strong family suddenly or logically broke up – she had a man who always loved her, loves and will love until death. And this knowledge is at the level of an innate reflex. If a girl has daddy issues, it is impossible to have basic trust because there is no man’s love.

3. Such women need protection

If she doesn’t feel it, she must defend herself. However, sometimes there is no reason to worry: as soon as a girl finds a man whom she can trust and feels a strong reliable shoulder, her femininity will wake up. But if she behaves like a feminist, then the situation is very complicated. There is no trust, she has nothing to rely on. If in childhood, there was a daddy, that is, moments that proved his care and protection, then she can be called an ordinary woman without psychological deviations. But if there are no such memories, then there is no trust. Probably it will be necessary to conquer such a woman long and persistently.

4. Women need a man’s attention

Actually, all your time should be devoted to her. She wants romance, submission, and friendship. In return, she is ready for much: she gives care and fulfills man’s desires if only he gives everything to her. It’s hard, but at the very beginning of a relationship, a man is ready to perform everything that she requires if only butterflies in his stomach continue to fly. So, continue paying attention to your woman.

5. They consider themselves stronger than other girls because they are rejected by their most important men

They fought with a sense of rejection all their years and without the male figure in their lives, they showed an example to many that they should be loved and always tried to solve every problem on their own. This desire made them independent and strong.

6. These women are always careful when it comes to letting people into their hearts

But if they let somebody in, they will give everything they have. They expect men to fully accept it and are ready to dissolve in them. In return, they will demand the same from men.

7. Love of such women knows no boundaries

They are in love with that happy “childhood” that they receive from men. You either enter into their life or don’t. When you have entered it, you can no longer live apart from it. A girl will not allow you to pour a drop of your love beyond the limits of your relationship. It will concern everyone: parents, friends, ex-girlfriends or children. You must belong to her completely. Only in this case, she can give you all that she has.

Men should know that fear number one is to be rejected again (especially by those to whom they gave their hearts). Emotional influence is durable and may affect all her adult life. It also influences healthy relationships. The absence of a father or a bad relationship with him undoubtedly affected many areas of her life, including her emotional and sometimes physical health. Well, if a girl has daddy issues, but she knows that the lack of dad’s attention can’t affect her life or she can understand her problems with men, then don’t worry, there are all chances that she can become a wonderful wife and a loving mother. In any case, she shouldn’t solve problems only by herself. You must help your loved one.