How Insecurities Affect Relationships: Male Perspective

Everyone goes through relationships with other people. These are fleeting acquaintances, kinship and friendships, contacts with colleagues, marriage bonds, and so on. All of them have an impact on us – positive or negative. And the closer the contact is, the more a person means to us, the more we react to him or her, the greater the impact this person has on our

how to overcome insecurities in relationships

lives. Therefore, personal relationships are the most important ones. It can be very difficult to overcome men’s insecurities in relationships.


Lack of confidence can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction in the relationship. You may feel that you are not smart enough or not interesting to keep your partner. Uncertainty may occur due to distrust from a loved one or some kind of mistake in the past. A feeling of insecurity in oneself or in a spouse can cause irreparable damage to the relationship. We have tips on how to overcome this problem and protect your relationships.

What Causes Insecurities in Relationships?

Full-fledged relationships inevitably stimulate personal growth, contribute to the manifestation of the best things, induce self-improvement, and make us happier. If this doesn’t happen, and we continue a relationship, then there is discontent, dissatisfaction, and doubts about the correctness of the choice. A few simple evaluation criteria will help identify critical points that cause insecurities in a relationship.insecurities in a relationship

  • There is no mutual attraction. Mutual attraction is a prerequisite for a strong and successful union. If you like each other and everything is good, then there is no matter what you say or do. Otherwise, there is a stranger next to you.
  • There is no sexual attraction. You may face insecurities ruining relationships if there is no sex interest and only the habit of staying close remains. This is not about the initial passion, but healthy relationships are impossible if there is no desire and one of you is insecure.
  • There is no respect. If your relationship has this feeling, regardless of the problems, disagreements, and difficulties that arise, then you will successfully overcome them all. When you don’t respect each other, then the long existence of such a relationship is very doubtful because insecurities may appear.
  • There is no proximity. The main problems in a relationship arise from the lack of real proximity between people. It includes many concepts like trust, mutual aid, mutual understanding, patience, support, and emotional contact. If these important elements are missing, then it is hardly worth fighting for your protracted relationship.
  •  There is no reliability. If you wondered how to understand that your relationships are healthy, then analyze how reliable they are. Do you feel support? If no, then, of course, male insecurities in relationships appear.
  • There are no common interests. Think about what unites you, whether there are common interests, plans, goals, whether you like to spend time together. Two people with different views on the world can get along for quite a long time if the previous points are taken into account, but answer yourself honestly, "Do you want to connect life with a person who doesn’t share your values?"

Projecting Insecurities in Relationships

Many women try to understand the peculiarity of male psychology because this is the key to the knowledge of the opposite sex. A man with insecurities often experiences difficulties. As a rule, he can often have low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence or, on the contrary, have arrogance, feel like a victim of circumstances. And this is how insecurities affect relationships:

  • Men are afraid of beautiful successful women. How insecurities affect relationships? In the process of choosing a life partner, men often face various problems because sometimes it is so difficult to find the one and only. When a man meets a self-sufficient person and knows exactly what a woman wants, some problems arise. A man immediately starts comparing himself with her and wondering, “Do I correspond her level and requirements?” A woman may not even show her demands, but a man has already begun to delve into himself and look for flaws. It is much easier to find a discreet, modest lady who will be incredibly happy with at least little attention and tenderness. But letting go of insecurities in relationships can sometimes lead to a happy personal life.
  • Men can’t become the head of the family. Men are terribly afraid of any active manifestations on the part of spouses because it is customary to condemn the representative of the stronger sex who completely follows the instructions of his wife. If a woman wants to show character and tries to suggest her own rules, then a notorious man will immediately begin to organize scandals and prove his superiority. Psychological studies have shown that men who have achieved excellent success in their careers calmly relate to the manifestations of the will of their loved spouses. The thing is that they already have a sphere where they are successful, so they simply don’t need to realize their ambitions through their families. You should learn how to get over insecurities in a relationship.
  • Men want to succeed in all areas of life. Of course, at first glance, it seems that it is impossible to perceive this as a disadvantage because such a man will be just perfect, and his primacy will be manifested in the ability to make money and in the desire to be the best father and husband. But a man suffering from insecurities will always prioritize among such areas of life as a family, work, hobbies, parents, etc. If he considers that he needs to fly to another city for a few months in order to achieve a better position, then he will immediately do so because he is insecure and can’t refuse. Often such men suffer from depression and are prone to fanatical self-analysis.
  • Men have an inferiority complex. Many men are actually insecure in their appearance, although, at first glance, it is impossible to think so. Men, just like women, constantly compare themselves with competitors, and realizing that they are not popular among women, they fall into despair. Men are well aware that most women prefer beautiful, wealthy, young, fit and tall, so the inconsistency with the standard can significantly shake the male ego. Sometimes a man needs to understand that if he is not endowed with a perfect appearance, he should think about charisma, humor, and other virtues. You have to understand that insecurities and relationships are incompatible.
  • Men are insecure about sex. For a man, it is very important to feel like a winner in sex. If he knows for sure that his woman is completely satisfied with his skills in an intimate sense, then self-esteem will automatically rise several times. In that case, if he knows that his loved one wants to receive much more from him than he gives her, then he will simply stop believing in himself. Men whose women have not been able to give them self-confidence in sex often cheat on them just to raise self-esteem.

Insecurities in Bed

Men’s insecurities in bed are somewhat different from those experienced by ladies, but, nevertheless, men can behave constrained in bed or even completely abandon sex due to the presence of various insecurities.

  • They are afraid not to cope with the task. It so happens that a man may experience great anxiety before sexual intercourse, which, as everyone knows, may cause erectile dysfunction.

The first sex in general, the first sex with a new girl or a strong desire to show oneself at the height can be the causes of the experiences. Of course, being alone with each other for the first time, it is very difficult to cope with emotions, but the experience is the main root of the problem.

  • They have a fear of too fast orgasm. This is also one of the most common insecurities in relationships that can be based on anything. But to a greater extent, the current view that good sex should last a long time is influencing here. Although we must honestly admit that the greatest pleasure sometimes comes in a few minutes, and therefore, it is quite realistic to overcome such fear.
  • They are afraid not to satisfy a girl. The fact is that sex is different as well as a relationship between partners. But when a man has strong feelings for a girl, he begins to take seriously what will be at night, and he wants to give her real pleasure. The problem is that fear on this issue can lead to the fact that a man is so immersed in the process of “pleasuring” that he can simply not think about what a girl wants or what he wants. As a result, sex will turn out to be somehow inferior and unlikely to become unforgettable. You have to learn how to stop being insecure.

By the way, all these insecurities arise only at the beginning of a relationship. And when people get to know each other closer, they successfully get rid of them.

Books on Insecurities in Relationships

How to deal with insecurities in a relationship? Check out this list of the books that can help you with this issue:

  • I Need Your Love – Is That True? by Byron Katie and Michael Katz. When you finally examine your thoughts about love, you realize that the world is much kinder than you imagined, and there is no need to fall asleep in fear and wake up in anxiety. When you really start looking around you, it turns out that the world is full of love – and this love is limitless.
  • Love Me, Don’t Leave Me by Michelle Skeen. After reading this book about a relationship between a man and a woman, everyone will be able to finally get to know how to overcome insecurities in relationships. You will learn to find a common language with your soulmate, become more successful and happier in love affairs.
  • Insecure in Love by Leslie Becker-Phelps. From the book on the psychology of a relationship between a man and a woman, you can take a lot of useful tips for yourself on how to avoid conflicts and set up family relationships.
  • Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. How to stop being insecure in a relationship? Read this book! Analyzing the behavior of married couples, the author shows how they reconsider their relationships over time. And as a result, partners become different – more trusting, open to each other, and their relationships are bright and strong.
  • Daring to Trust by David Richo. The problem of self-confidence worries each of us. We all want to have the gift of persuasion, the ability to defend our interests, resolve conflicts with dignity, set ourselves the highest goals and achieve them easily and naturally. But for some reason, many of us believe that if we are not lucky to be born confident and persistent, then nothing can be done about it, and you can put paid to a successful relationship.

This is not true! You just didn’t have a good teacher! This book will help anyone become an absolutely confident person in a relationship.

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