A Midlife Crisis in Men: Signs and Solutions
The life of each person develops due to different age stages and periods. As practice shows, for men, the average age of 35-45 years becomes the most difficult. There is a reassessment of values, a change in thinking, physiological and hormonal changes. All this has a term in medicine – a midlife crisis.
Unfortunately, statistics show that during such a crisis, many men undergo deep depression, get divorced and try single women dating as well as have bad habits. In practice, there are even cases when men end in suicide even surviving stages of a midlife crisis. Therefore, you need to be prepared for it and also know the basic techniques for overcoming it.
What Is a Midlife Crisis?
According to statistics, a midlife crisis affects every second man who crosses the thirty-year milestone. The bad news is that the problems associated with the crisis affect all people around a man. He may become irritable or make attempts to leave the family. This is one of the things that ruin relationships. Regardless of many conditions, the man is going through certain stages of development, and the midlife crisis in men is inevitable.
It seems to women that their men suffer from trifles. Although in fact, men have great psychological problems. During this period, the man, in his opinion, ceases to be a young carefree guy (even if he has been living 10 years in marriage before) and becomes an adult, serious and responsible. If the woman doesn’t help calm down, doesn’t support him, then he, being in a depressed state, can make many mistakes in life. There are often situations when a man begins to abuse alcohol, finds another woman “who understands him,” and changes in relation to his relatives. During the midlife crisis, male perception is more acute and has its own specific features.
What age is a midlife crisis for a man? At 30-40 years old, men understand that half of their lives have already been lived. A man begins to evaluate what he has achieved at this point. A closer look causes depression – it seems that the achievements are very bad. It seems that the car could be better, and the wife could be more beautiful. He recalls past mistakes, missed opportunities, and this doesn’t add optimism.
Do Only Men Experience a Midlife Crisis?
As a rule, women don’t google a midlife crisis definition and even don’t associate changes in their behavior with it. But not everyone knows that women can experience this too. The midlife crisis manifests itself in women in different ways. For example, some women go headlong into the decision of household chores and raising children, not paying attention to the signs of a crisis state. Others direct all available forces to the realization of personal goals. As a rule, the midlife crisis age is 30-40 years in women.
Basically, a woman, experiencing a midlife crisis, is under pressure from others, relatives, and friends. She realizes that she should have already achieved certain successes by this time. Analyzing her achievements, a woman begins to understand that she is no longer a young girl but a middle-aged lady. Awareness of this fact exerts strong psychological and moral pressure on her, which can lead not only to a depressed state but also to health problems.
Symptoms of Midlife Crisis in Men
It is possible to understand that a man has entered the crisis zone by some characteristic signs. Check them out.
1. Dissatisfaction with career and work
What is a midlife crisis for a man? It is almost the end of life. Dissatisfaction manifests itself even if everything is good with the career, the salary is quite high and paid regularly, and he has a happy family (relationships). It seems to the man that he is a loser who couldn’t achieve much in life. After comparing himself and his more successful peers, he becomes especially offended. And if close people begin to rebuke him in this, the situation of dissatisfaction is even more aggravated.
2. Attempts to change the appearance
Trying to return the passing youth, men try to transform the appearance: wear teenage clothes or things leftover from young times. He may even dye his gray hair and hide wrinkles in various ways. During this period, a man can decide to have plastic surgery. He often begins to visit the gym and engage in his own physique.
3. Dissatisfaction with their marriage (relationship)
What is the symptom of a midlife crisis for a man? A man begins to actively express dissatisfaction with marriage, openly declaring this to his wife. He can even say that he no longer loves her or didn’t love her at all but married her because of some circumstances, pressure, etc. Of course, such emotional upheavals for a woman have a very negative effect on her condition, which is why she often becomes the initiator of a divorce.
4. Nerves
During the midlife crisis, male representatives show a nervous reaction to ordinary things, discontent in the family because they seem to be “ignored” and “lonely” and their wives “don’t love them and children don’t need their help.” There is a deterioration of relations at work conflicts with relatives and friends, and he believes that he is “offended,” and people don’t notice real merits.
5. Dissatisfaction with sexual life with a wife (girlfriend)
Sex is a very important part of a relationship. So, if there is no sex, then this is a clear sign of problems between a man and a woman. In this case, a man ceases to admire the appearance of his girlfriend, she doesn’t seem attractive anymore, and he starts looking for a new woman, who is more beautiful, younger, and better in everything.
6. Mood swings
This is one of the most obvious midlife crisis signs. A man has changed in mood from anxiety to aggressiveness. He begins to blame his family (especially his wife) for all troubles. He has problems at work and home, everything falls out of hand – the wife is to blame. Emotional breakdowns of a spouse who doesn’t withstand the husband’s mood swings are regarded as an attempt to denigrate him, harm or hinder his career growth.
7. Infantility
If a man radically changes his hobbies and interests, then it should also alert. For example, he can be very interested in new gadgets, computer games, sports, and so on, although he never was so keen on it. Also, he may return to old interests and hobbies (from childhood or adolescence), as if trying to compensate for his unfulfillment in life.
8. Baseless jealousy
Any man from his wife’s work is perceived by his sick imagination as a potential lover of a wife. As soon as a wife smiles at a friend or relative of her husband, his mood changes instantly. He becomes irritable, speaks with his woman through clenched teeth, trying to hit her with an insulting word or humiliate her in front of others, at the same time, without perceiving any explanations from his woman.
9. Nostalgia for past youth and first love
The midlife crisis for men manifests itself in nostalgia. Some men begin to ponder “what if ...?” They question their past decisions. They begin to remember their first love, how they would live together if they avoided the mistakes that led to a breakup. The trouble is that a man tries to look at his past through the “pink-colored glasses,” recalling only the good points of this relationship. This fantasy feels comfortable in the male imagination, prompting him to seek a relationship with a woman of his youthful dreams or similar to her.
10. Alcohol abuse
This is one of the worst symptoms of a midlife crisis. Men are more often at risk zone than women. That is why alcoholism is primarily a problem of men, which only exacerbates the situation. When a person thinks that he is worth nothing and is nobody in this world, he drinks alcohol that helps him forget all the bad things for some time.
Midlife Crisis – How to Deal
The midlife crisis is a turning point in life, the time when men are looking for new ways of development. In order not to get depressed, you need to know the enemy in person and learn how to deal with it.
1. Change your environment
With age, a man changes the requirements for his environment. If in early childhood, we are ready to be friends with almost any neighbor boy due to the lack of differences in education, attitudes, incomes, then growing up, there are more and more differences. When a man grows up, not only his lifestyle changes but also his views change. Therefore, along with your own changes, it is advisable to change the environment, which would be more consistent with your current outlook on life.
2. Accept your age
When you notice signs of a midlife crisis, you must go through the so-called adoption stage before you begin to improve yourself and deal with all the accumulated problems. To do this, you need to come to terms with the fact that you are already 40 years old, but at the same time, understand that life doesn’t end at all at this stage. In your 40s, you can still achieve a lot and become a cool dude.
3. Change goals
In adolescence, we set ourselves maximum goals without really knowing our real capabilities and not understanding the world around us. Our outlook is largely formed by colorful popular books, films, examples of successful people (which are often the exception and not the rule), etc. After 30 years, an understanding of both your own capabilities and the real situation in the world around you should come.
4. Go beyond your comfort zone
To bring new colors to your life, start to gradually leave your comfort zone. To begin with, you can start with the minimum things – to go new routes to work, spend weekends in places where you have never been, and, for example, change the diet. Then it will be possible to move on to more fundamental changes. For example, the study of new disciplines, temporary relocation from one place to another, a change of activity, and so on.
5. Ask a specialist for help
Unfortunately, when a midlife crisis comes, men often experience health problems, both mental and physical. Therefore, in such cases, you shouldn’t wait until “everything will pass by itself,” but it is better to go to the specialists. Make an appointment with a psychotherapist and undergo a comprehensive medical examination. Most likely, the specialist will answer the question like midlife crisis how to deal and others.
The midlife crisis in men is an inevitable, natural process. As a rule, its manifestation is characterized by a feeling of distrust, a decrease in libido and sexual activity. This can lead to the fact that a man will try to deal with the crisis, considering it as an enemy that needs to be stopped and defeated, and not as an inevitable moment in his life. Therefore, they tend to have relationships with a mistress (usually much younger than them), buy motorcycles or sports cars, visit the gym or do surgical correction of their appearance. They try to regain their youth. There is nothing bad with this but still, it should alert. Anyway, it is not an endless state and can be overcome.
