Dating a Girl with Anxiety: Tips and Advice

What is anxiety?

The state of anxiety was experienced by any person. Everyone knows this feeling. Anxiety warns a person about danger, a threat, and in this sense has not a small value. Anxiety resembles a feeling like fear, because in both cases it is a person's reaction to danger. But anyway, each of the emotions is characterized by its own specificity. A certain level of anxiety is a natural and useful feature of an active human activity. Each of us has its own optimal level of anxiety. There is anxiety as a certain state of a person in a certain period of time, the so-called situational anxiety. Such anxiety is absolutely normal and useful for a person. It helps a person to concentrate and make the most correct decision in a certain situation.


There is a category of people whose anxiety level is very high, and their anxiety is characterized as their personal trait. A high level of anxiety is a threat to such people, their self-esteem and even life in general. Personal anxiety, interacting with the increased "situational" anxiety caused by various stressors, leads to increased stress, development of distress and various psychosomatic diseases.

Anxiety is an individual psychological feature manifested in a person's propensity to experience severe anxiety over insignificant occasions. Anxiety is internally conditioned, and is associated with external objects only to the extent that they stimulate internal conflicts. Anxiety, unlike fear, is a reaction to an imaginary threat and arises from fear of suspense. Its insidiousness lies in the fact that sometimes it is not even conscious; a person cannot understand the cause of their anxiety. Dating someone with depression and anxiety means that you always will face internal conflicts of personality. It can be repeated or become completely continuous. From a physiological point of view, anxiety is a reactive condition and causes physiological changes.

Each of us, especially in stressful situations, experiences anxiety. For most people, this state is temporary, which is overcome quickly enough. But, for many of us, the state of anxiety is a painful, enduring state, accompanied by unpleasant physical sensations. A person feels that something is going wrong, but often cannot express own indisposition, and does not know when and where the nameless tragedy will take place again. A person, constantly experiencing anxiety, lives as if under a dark sky and is unable to overcome tension either by the efforts of own will, or with the help of relatives and friends. Sometimes it happens that this state passes itself, but more often with time it becomes more acute and difficult to bear.

Uncertain anxiety is especially depressing in adverse life situations. Then, when there is a constant threat to social position, financial well-being, the threat to stay alone, etc., then internal anxiety is amplified and everything around is potentially threatening. Our modern reality, the conditions in which we live, not so much directly generate internal conflicts, but sometimes create a favorable ground for their manifestation in full force.

Anxiety is dangerous because it is often unconscious and it is difficult for a person to understand what problems are hidden behind the debilitating experience. One of the most common "disguises" of anxiety is renaming: "I'm annoyed, I'm stressed out, I'm weak, I'm afraid, I'm sad, I'm constantly waking up at night, I do not feel myself, etc ...".

Anxiety and datingSomatic complaints are simply a way of expressing one's anxiety. For example, when someone says that in the presence of a person, they have a headache. This means that if you manage to understand and find out what causes anxiety in this person, it is possible to overcome a headache.

Anxiety is disguised by certain actions, such a range of obsessive actions as tapping on the table, torsion of buttons, overeating, drunkenness, excessive smoking, obsessive desire to buy things. Such actions mean that a person experiences a high level of anxiety due to some conflictual life situation. Anxiety is often hidden behind other emotions. Irritability, aggression, hostility can act as a reaction to an alarming situation. Often, when people begin to experience stress, they become sarcastic and acrid. Or, conversely, cold and taciturn. This type of reaction usually expresses an internal conflict between powerlessness and aggressiveness, and this conflict paralyzes activity. Others, when faced with such people, experience irritation and anger towards them, which intensifies the inner conflict of anxious people. Therefore, it is worth being uncensorious towards others, because a person can be in a difficult state.

On the other hand, some people, defending themselves from their anxiety, choose a very paradoxical way. They begin to talk about their problems and concerns with a demonstrative openness, asking everyone what to do. It should be understood that such a bulging out of their anxiety, as a rule, is a manifestation of hostility to others. Therefore, do not give advice and sympathize with such a person immediately. Often they do not need them, but only wait for a moment to show their hostility and shift their responsibility to another.

The emergence of an anxiety state is a "starting point" for the development of a process to overcome it or transform it. Thus, anxiety can be viewed, on the one hand, as a positive phenomenon providing adaptation, and, on the other hand, as one of the main factors in the formation of emotionally-negative mental states. In the latter case, it becomes difficult for a person to adapt in the modern world and live a fulfilled life.

Dating with social anxiety

The presence of a mental disorder, which is called social anxiety, is often evidenced by anxiety, which arises when it’s necessary to participate in social life. This is one of the most common violations, which lends itself even to self-correction.

What is social anxiety?

The sufferer of social phobia experiences difficulties in any social action - speaking in public, passing exams, talking on the phone, but even more such people are afraid to get a negative evaluation of their actions from society.

What is the danger of social phobia?

Many people believe that social phobia or anxiety is a mental illness, but this is a mental disorder. Sick people strive for loneliness and minimize contact. On the one hand, they look quite innocuous, and such people like no other are prone to alcoholism and drug addiction, because with the help of these means they can reduce anxiety to become liberated. In addition, many sufferers from social phobia cannot realize themselves, demonstrate their abilities, create a family. The tendency to depression and suicide is high.

The causes of social phobia

  • The absence of adequate evaluation and praise from parents in childhood;
  • Mockery of peers;
  • Conflicts in the team or family;
  • Antisocial way of life that parents keep;
  • Unsuccessful beginning of sexual life;
  • Somatic diseases.

Social phobia symptoms

If the cause of a fear attack is acute social phobia, a person will experience a set of unpleasant symptoms, among which there are the following:

  • labored breathing;
  • problems with speech - psychological dumbness, stammering;
  • increased heart palpitation;
  • nausea;
  • dizziness;
  • chills, trembling of limbs;
  • heat or cold sweat.

Signs of social phobia

The above somatic signs mean that a person has a diagnosis of social phobia, in which this anxiety manifests itself emotionally:

  • in anticipation of the worst course of events;
  • in violation of attention;
  • in anxiety, irritation, tension;
  • in nightmarish dreams;
  • in the sense of déjà vu;

Anxiety and datingSituations in which there are physical and psychological signs of social phobia:

  • speaking in front of a large audience (answer at the blackboard at school, university);
  • demonstration of their talents or skills for a large number of spectators (performance on stage, competition);
  • interview;
  • business meeting;
  • meetings with significant, authoritative people;
  • communication with strangers;
  • conversations on the phone, skype;
  • visiting crowded places;
  • any actions in the public eye (snacks, reading).

How to live with social phobia?

For a person with an anxiety disorder, it is very important to learn to look at some frightening situations differently and remember - social phobia is curable. Often, others do not notice others' mistakes, because they are focused on themselves. And even if they see them, they do not make a big mistake. To defeat the social phobia quickly does not work, but with corrective actions, it will eventually recede. If you do nothing, social anxiety can develop into anthropophobia - the fear of all people in general.

Tips for dating someone with anxiety

Anxiety and dating are seemingly incompatible things, but there are still different ways to solve this problem. Dating someone with anxiety is a very difficult task that requires considerable efforts to overcome it on one's own. Dating a girl with anxiety you need to help her to get rid of social phobia. First of all, you need to address a psychotherapist. The combination of psychological correction and drug treatment provides good results. The doctor will teach your girlfriend who suffers from social anxiety objective self-perception, self-control, help in the fight against negative thoughts and feelings. With the help of cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, a person will begin to feel uncomfortable situations less acutely. In some cases, doctors use hypnosis to overcome social phobia. Medication includes antidepressants, benzodiazepine drugs.

Dating someone with social anxiety is a problem that is serious enough, and if you do not help your partner, you should expect a break in relations, after which your girlfriend can mess things up, since people with this disease often think about drugs and suicide.

How to date a girl with anxiety?

Is it possible for a girl to find a guy who will accept her as she is? When you need to meet a new person (for example, from the Internet) and start communication, girls with social phobia begin to panic. The heart is about to explode, the voice trembles. She is afraid of being in the spotlight. They must actively communicate, but they are not very talkative and generally timid. They often feel defenseless and uninteresting. Just a little bit and you can go crazy with loneliness. But for this, they need exactly the man who will open the door to society. You should make your girlfriend visit crowded places as often as possible, to make acquaintances with new people. And you will see that soon she will become more relaxed.

How to date someone with social anxiety?

All the problems are in your head. This is the most important thing that you need to understand and what you need to repulse. Maybe for many it's obvious, but most girls think personally that they cannot date someone because of certain things, such as:

  • ugliness
  • a lack of money
  • lack of authority
  • some personal problems, etc.

But actually it's not like that. In fact, none of these things can have a significant impact on your relationship. You should help such a girl to develop as a person in society. You need to practice her communication with people. Nothing will happen without this and you will go round in circles.

How to date someone with anxiety and depression?

An important factor in finding someone next to a person in depression is taking care of themselves. Remember that living next to someone who is constantly worried, afraid or crying is not easy. Do not lock yourself with them at home, otherwise depression will win you. Look for support in work, friends, trips, shopping, jump with a parachute, watch funny comedies.

If you are not the cause of depression in a person, do not blame yourself. Depression, like a cancer, is caused by a complex combination of different factors, and you are certainly not the most important factor.

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