Don’t Be a Nice Guy: Nice Guy Syndrome

Psychologists caution girls against boys from the so-called friend zone. Most often, young people from this category are perceived as very caring, gentle, kind, and sensitive friends. However, a number of studies by psychologists show that this impression can be deceptive since all these character traits are symptoms of a “nice guy syndrome.”

What You Need to Know About a Nice Guy Syndrome

What is a nice guy syndrome? The author of the term defined this syndrome precisely for a simple reason: he wanted to draw attention to the fact that, due to a number of large-scale social changes that had been taking place for some 50 years, these boys began to appear more and more often. And today it is already a massive phenomenon. Let’s clarify one more thing – it is called “nice guy syndrome,” but it doesn’t mean that these guys are really sweet and kind. Such men just think they are bad, and other people will not like them. Therefore, it is urgently necessary for them to become “wonderful” in order to please people around in every way. After all, they all will see how handsome, smart, kind, generous, well-dressed, with pleasant manners they are. These guys always ready to help, never offend, immediately begin to love, and so on. But is it so good?

So, here he is, such a “nice boy” – he always tries to please everyone and in all cases. What’s wrong with their desire to please everyone, be nice and kind, dress as people praise, work on the job which people approve, ride a car which people appreciate, and so on and so forth? The bad thing about this is what makes it called a syndrome. Such a person just pleases and makes happy, pleases and makes happy, and this is a vicious circle. It is a bad way of life. Not to mention the fact that it is simply extremely difficult to live the way you don’t like. Such a man first says one thing, then he changes his mind and tells something absolutely different because the thoughts in his head are extremely independent. He can’t really solve many problems because it may turn into conflict with someone and this is terrible. So, don’t be a nice guy. It may ruin your life.

What Is a Nice Guy?

Nice guys are a generation of psychologically immature men. This is the misfortune of the last century, caused by wars, the absence of fathers, the growing number of divorces, the upbringing by women who impose their understanding of correct male behavior on boys and feminism seeking equality. These global events imperceptibly turn the most important things in a man (his masculinity and instincts) into dust. So, what are the signs of a nice guy?

He wants to please everyone. Such a guy always strives to be good and do the right thing. When he makes other people happy, he experiences happiness. He is afraid of conflicts and, therefore, is ready to give up and make compromises just not to destroy a relationship.

He wants to believe that he is not selfish, aggressive, and irritable. He attributes these qualities to the “other” men. And in order to convince himself and others of his exclusivity, he can get involved in yoga, or meditation. He doesn’t smoke, drink and swear. He wants to show that he is different.

He loves to find flaws in other men. He condemns the moral side of their behavior. This allows him to believe that he is better than other men. In the men’s circle, he feels uncomfortable, pretends that all is well, but wants to leave their society as soon as possible. A nice guy feels comfortable in the women’s society. But he is just friend to them. Any man should know how to stop being a nice guy in order to have healthy relationships with girls.

He doesn’t want to develop. Instead of doing business, he will stagnate, always finding explanations for his inaction. He is a champion in excuses and, at the same time, a champion in creating an image of reliability. He tries to be easy and affordable, but in fact, he is constantly digging into himself and is afraid to build close relationships because he is vulnerable.

He is afraid of women. Women are his biggest fear, and ladies often know how to spot a nice guy. He is afraid of them because he doesn’t understand them. And to hide this fear, he tries to be kind, pleases women, and takes care of them. He thinks that he will receive their love in return, using children or puppies to show how nice he is. According to him, when a girl realizes how unreliable the other men are, she will run to this guy. But this will never happen.

He can’t end a relationship. In relationships, they become addicted to women. And they try to invest in relationships to the maximum in order to get an equal portion of love and recognition in return. When a relationship comes to an end, instead of a normal breakup, a nice guy will try to fix it again and again, even if the situation is irreparable.

He is a friend of women. Women are good friends with such guys. A nice guy can’t get anything more than friendship. And he can only dream of ladies he likes. So, if you are tired of being the nice guy and get nothing but friendship, then you have to change something in your behavior.

No More Mr. Nice Guy: Why Women Avoid Nice Guys and Do They Really?

A mother taught you to be polite, respectful, and kind? Perhaps it didn’t come in handy for you because it didn’t bring success. Girls continue (and you don’t understand why) prefer some men who treat them badly. And yet, this is the type of guys that girls choose, and not such men as you are. Why? Because girls don’t like nice guys.

1. Such guys are “not lucky in love” from a lack of life experience. So, you want a girlfriend but are too shy to admit it to her? This is not the worst thing that can happen in life. In general, modern entertainment culture is to blame for this – in books and films, romantic men are constantly secretly suffering from unrequited love. So, you look like a real hero of modern culture, but what is the use of this? And although such films usually end in love, weddings and other pleasures, genre conventions of fiction are one thing, and real life is another thing. And you look like an idiot if you try to conquer a girl like the characters in Hollywood movies do.

2. Girls don’t like nice guys because they lack persistence. Girls like when men get them. A mixture of confidence, persistence, and sincerity is the best model of behavior. Such traits as softness and shyness don’t attract women. Every woman wants to see a strong and self-confident man who will not leave her. She is looking for the “wall” behind which she will feel protected.

3. Girls don’t want to be leaders. Perhaps, at first, a girl will be delighted with her lead role, but when a relationship moves on to the next stage, it will be annoying. After all, a man is obliged to become the head of the family in the future and be responsible for the decisions made. If it doesn’t happen, girls think that you are just another nice guy and easily end relationships.

4. Nice guys are fixated on one person. If you are refused, it is unpleasant, of course, but normal. And a normal man goes through these dozens and hundreds of times in his life. So, it’s stupid to break down, score on your life and think that you can’t see happiness in life because you are not Brad Pitt. It generally doesn’t affect anything. Brake up – find a new girlfriend. That is a simple scheme.

5. These guys have a boring life. Nice guys plan their lives far ahead, and this seems boring for a girl looking for a vibrant life. Impulsiveness, unpredictability, spontaneity attract girls much more. Therefore, they run to men who can give them this. But if you know how to not be a nice guy, you will be able to conquer any girl you like.

6. Nice guys put girls on a pedestal. These men think women adore when they are exalted. Well, in a sense, it is. But women love being accepted as they are. Don’t overdo it with romance. It’s not worth it, girls will not appreciate it. A woman is not sugar and not glass, so she will not melt and break.

7. Life doesn’t teach them anything. They constantly find themselves in a friend zone, calm girls who are left by boyfriends, are afraid to make a decision, and as a result, they are left with nothing. Life is serious and full of surprises. It constantly sets traps. And girls understand that such men simply have no future, and, therefore, stay just friends with them.

How to Not Be a Nice Guy?

Many guys may notice that girls love bad and self-satisfied men. It turns out that those principles and standards of decency that have been instilled by parents since childhood are simply not needed in the conquest of girls. In fact, everything is not so simple. There are girls who love bad guys, and there are beauties who pay attention to gentlemen. There is a thin line between these concepts. You have to know how to be a guy who attracts girls, not pushes them away. So, how to stop being a nice guy?

Become selfish. This means you need to think first about yourself. Why do such selfish individuals attract girls? Because there are girls who are brought up in the spirit of competition. In other words, to get something, you need to earn it. Therefore, become a guy the girls want to be with.

Stop agreeing on everything. This doesn’t mean that you have to argue for the sake of the dispute itself, but you shouldn’t forget that you are a man with your own desires. If you agree with everyone, you will sacrifice your individuality. Don’t be afraid to express your opinion. This is the easiest way of how to stop being a nice guy.

Become fearless. Fearlessness is a very important quality for a guy. It is necessary to stop being afraid not only of the opinions of others about you but also to stop worrying about what girls think about you, engage in fights with other guys and insist on your position, turning to verbal insults. After all, as you know, in nature, everything is measured by the size of the muscles. If a guy is smaller than his opponent but is fearless, then he may be stronger.

Don’t be afraid to show your nature. How not to be a nice guy? Don’t allow girls to behave impolitely with you. If you keep silent, you will show cowardice. If a girl didn’t come to a restaurant, and she didn’t call and warn you about it, you shouldn’t tolerate such an attitude to yourself.

Be patient with yourself and with others. When it comes to relationships, try not to get attached to someone very quickly. How to not be a nice guy in a relationship? Don’t seek to give someone everything that they need, without expecting anything in return.

Be “indifferent” to girls. In fact, successful guys can love. They just don’t open their hearts too quickly. To stop being a nice guy, you need to stop falling in love at first sight. Just communicate, calmly treat a girl, and don’t serve her. If she has an interest and desire to meet with you, then offer it to her. And if you see that a girl doesn’t intend to have a relationship with you, then calmly cool down and look for a new loved one.