Friends with Benefits: What's It All About
Alright, have you ever heard of such thing as “friend with benefits?” Or perhaps you are already in such friendship? Anyway, honestly, being in the relationship like that is incredibly valuable if you know the true friends with benefits meaning, so you won’t take it for a usual no-strings-attached sex. And, today, luckily for you, we will give an answer to “what does friends with benefits mean?” as well as dish up some extremely useful pieces of advice on the point.
So, you are looking for someone to diversify your sexual life, but do not want a full-scale romantic relationship and the perspective of dying on one day with that person. Plus, you definitely wish it to be something more than just a one-night stand. That’s why the key to solving your problem may be exactly in our article.
Okay, you need a relationship with no commitment, but with an opportunity to have more or less stable sexual partner. Although it might be quite hard to find the right option that will work for you, a friend with benefit can be the best way out. We are only humans, after all, so sometimes we get too tired of all those amorous sighs and mutual plans for the future. However, we still do have our physiological needs and…somebody to satisfy them with! But before we move to the pros and cons of this type of relationship, let’s first define friends with benefits and what it actually stands for.
What are friends with benefits?
Well, if you’re a rookie in all that romantic stuff, you are wondering what a friend with benefits actually means. Probably you have once heard the concept from a movie or a TV show, seen the “FWB” acronym or just trying to find the best romantic option for you.
So, the definition of a “friend with benefits” is a person with whom you have regular sex without involving in the romantic relationship or commitment.
Yet, in order to make the FWB variant work out well, you’d better check your heart first. Don’t you really need a loving partner? Are you decisively settled with an idea of finding someone else to fool around and have sex with no strings attached? Are you OK realizing that person won’t be always there watching your six and asking what you would like for dinner? Giving everything about a real romantic relationship potentially to be bothering you 24/7, an alternative of having a friend with benefits can be a real deal, in fact. What’s more, apart from banging each other’s brains out, you’ll have an opportunity to communicate pretty well and even spend some good time together outside the bedroom. In a nutshell, everything is just like in a romantic relationship, still without all the nonsense. The main focus of being friends with benefits is about relieving sexual tension, not building a family together. So what, you still in?
Friends with benefits pros and cons
Firstly, let’s consider the friends with benefits pros
1. You are not there for a committed relationship. Once you’ve decided this type of relationship is optimal for you, it is absolutely essential for both partners to enter the relations fully acknowledging and accepting what both of them want. A friend with benefits is not your boyfriend/girlfriend, so this fact releases you from the necessity to track your partner if he/she is cheating on you, check his/her incoming calls and text messages and some other things that might cause you a hell of a headache.
2. Both of you are of the same opinion about your relationship. As you get into the FWB kind of relationship, you must openly and entirely honestly talk about the real nature of your partnership straight from the point you’re currently on. In other words, to be able to avoid a great deal of confusion and hurting one another’s feelings, you need to be absolutely forthright about the origins of your union. In this way, your non-obligated sexual life will be as problem-free as you expect it to be.
3. It’s exactly what YOU want. Since both of you happened to be there to become friends with benefits, neither of you has to agree to the relationship simply because it appears to be the one and only possible option for you or because he/she is offering you to try this out, and you actually hope to turn your no-strings connection into something bigger one day. If you want to evade the heartbreak in the end, you need to fully understand what you and your partner are signing up for, so your non-obligated relations will not leave you feeling emptied out and unimportant one sunny morning.
4. You both like it. A fine FWB relationship surely works out if both parties are completely contented and happy with what they have. For example, if your current relationship doesn’t make you doubt it and you are generally happy for the moment, with absolutely no regrets and disappointment – congrats! You’ve made the right choice. And your partner as well!
5. Your time is fully yours. Living in the 21st century, we are all busy people. And, as you know, committed relationships take LOTS of time. Being in the romantic partnership, both lovers always have to give a little of themselves and receive something back to make their relations survive and last.
Agree, sometimes it is simply impossible to do. In addition, you can’t be guaranteed your love will successfully go on and on. We mean, that your significant other does not decide to give up on your romance. And then all the time you’d devoted to your relationship will be simply wasted for nothing. So why do guys want friends with benefits? That is simple – because they won’t be feeling used when their girlfriends decide to leave them!
Now, why friends with benefits is bad
1. You aren’t supposed to fall in love. The main difference between a real relationship and just being friends with benefits is that you might be losing the chance to fall in love with that person beside you. Even if he/she seems ideal for you.
2. You may lose a great friend. If one of you turned out to be not the nicest person or made some wrong decisions, each partner can’t do anything but leave once and for all. You sure you can handle that?
3. You can end up jealous and unhappy. You can pretend like you don’t really care, that your friend might be dating somebody else at the same time.
4. There might be an illness involved. Well, no one really likes coming to this point. However, it is of great importance, especially if your friend has a number of other friends with diseases, damn, we meant benefits. But, anyway, you are certainly not discussing this aspect with him/her because “you do not really care” right?
5. Romantic feelings may seep in. You know, romantic feelings often find a way to pop in if your relations last more than two-three months. And believe it, neither of you will like where the road takes you.
6. All good things eventually come to a logical end. First of all, an FWB kind of relationship may not seem such a perfect option. Oftentimes, it can be just an excuse to avoid genuine commitment. But who gives a f***? That’s a whole lot of fun! Maybe. But, eventually, no matter how fancy it may sound, such relationships are too good to last very long.
7. You will always be surrounded by doubts. Even if both partners are 100% satisfied with each other, there will always be doubt soaring in the air. You will always doubt your partner’s loyalty. It took you so easy to get into one bed, so can’t he/she jump into someone else’s bed even easier?
8. Happy end. If it is you who decides to break the relationship, this can infuriate your partner who might even seek for revenge. If you’re not about ending your “friendship” nicely and peacefully, do not be expecting a happy end. Neither for yourself, nor for your reputation.
Friends with benefits rules
#1 Keep away from falling in love. This one is by far the best friends with benefits advice. Avoid growing into something bigger than just a sex-loving couple. At any cost! But then again, this tip usually turns out to be the hardest to follow.
#2 Be emotionally mature. You need to realize what you are going for right from the beginning. Both of you. Do not hope for a happy end like in a fairytale. Be satisfied with a satisfying conclusion of your game.
#3 Come up with a set of rules. One of the basic rules for friends with benefits! How frequently you should meet, have sex, what time you should call each other and some other stuff. These rules will not be set in stone, still, both sides must make a conscious step forward to follow them.
#4 Do not be too clingy for attention. A friend with benefits is not supposed to be your boyfriend or girlfriend! So don’t be constantly calling or texting him/her if you got nothing better to occupy your mind with.
#5 Make it confidential. Do not brag about your sex adventures when with your pals, trumpeting about that for the whole bar to envy. Because, you know, gossip has a quite funny tendency of spreading within moments after you’ve told your friend to keep it secret.
#6 Avoid being too enthusiastic. Yeah, you’ve succeeded to draw a pretty girl into your bed. No doubt, that’s good for you! But remember to save your libido and a better part of enthusiasm for yourself or you might scare that girl as easily as you attracted her. This tip also concerns friends with benefits sex as you may have guessed.
#7 Do not meet for dates. You can be entirely intimate with one another, however, that won’t make an excuse to meet in some other places. You risk ruining the entire relationship.
#8 Distract yourself. Get interested in doing something else once you start having sex with your partner. Any hobby would be awesome. It will take the possibility of falling for the person out as far and long as you will stay in the relationship.
#9 Do not try to learn more about the person. Another one among the most important friends with benefits rules. Do not attempt to dig out every smallest fact from the person’s biography. Keep in mind that you are together for sex only and you must be doing your best to avoid getting closer.
#10 Remember how it ends. You can be absolutely satisfied with the flow of events, but don’t toss away the fact that your relationship will cross the finish line sooner or later. Whether it will be quiet and peaceful or global and storm-like – be ready to put a full stop in your story at any moment.
Final Thoughts
All in all, the friends with benefits relationship can be a real dream for both parties, as long as it will last. But don’t ignore the information above to be able to prolong a good time for as long as both you and your partner can and most importantly – be ready to end it right before it is too late.
