How to Get Over Being Cheated On and Stay Together

The worst thing is not to learn about the cheating of your partner. The worst begins after. When you don't know how to get rid of these thoughts. When you live with her in the same apartment, you sleep in the same bed and think that she was with another man. The main thing is to decide whether you really want to maintain this relationship. There are two main questions, "How to get over being cheated on? Or is it better to split up?"

Let's try to figure out what pushes a woman to cheat. We neither take into account nor discuss the actions of reckless young ladies who constantly require adventures of an intimate nature on the side. Such people are not ready for family life, and it is practically impossible to change them. But there are beautiful women who look for a relationship with a regular partner, but after starting family life, they go on to cheat after a while. Pretty sure, there are reasons for this.

Why Women Cheat: a Fresh Approach

1. Longtime resentment against a spouse

In contrast to men, women do remember for a long time the unpleasant statement directed at them as well as a negative action, or simply unwillingness to show care and attention. Negative can accumulate in small particles. It seems to you that she is satisfied with everything, but she just does not want to quarrel with you once again. But always remember that in her surroundings there is a person who will seriously condemn you and encourage her to take rash actions.

2. Boredom and monotony in family relationships

Do not rush to blame women, there are families where a man cares only about himself, not paying attention to his spouse. She is an attractive and sexy woman, who is well dressed, has a good relationship with children, a favorite job, and true friends. Many women have such qualities and, hence, they appreciate beautiful actions, gifts for no reason, and compliments are important for them. A woman is pleased if she is admired but by her husband or partner, and not her work colleague or former classmate.

Maybe all this doesn’t apply to your beloved one, but since you love her and are very upset about cheating, it means there is something in her behavior that makes you worry about breaking up. Therefore, you should reconsider YOUR behavior. Recall how often you go with her to a restaurant, to the cinema or go shopping? What was the last time you bought her flowers? Where did you celebrate her birthday? Maybe all the holidays she only does the chores, waits for the arrival of the guests, and receives flowers a couple of times a year, and then, is there a reason for all of this? How do you spend your weekends and holidays? Most likely, everything is banal, these are short trips to the countryside, to relatives, or, at best, to the sea once in five years. Actually, many families live like this and are quite happy with the way of life.

However, if you prefer to relax on the couch in front of the TV, spend the whole weekend with friends in the garage or on a fishing trip, and in the evenings you play computer games or drink beer with a neighbor, then there is nothing to be surprised if the woman gave preference to another man. And you, in turn, look for the answer to the question, "Why did she do that?"

How to Tell If You're Being Cheated on?

Upon learning that the beloved woman cheated on you, men behave differently. Someone believes that quarrel is the only way out, but others prefer to keep silence and pretend that nothing has happened. How to tell if your girlfriend has cheated on you and how to behave after being cheated on?

Since men are used to keeping their emotions and feelings to themselves, it may be hard to see how a man feels after being cheated on. Sometimes a man takes on some kind of martyrdom, just as women do. What do we mean by this: that is, he knows about cheating and even has some extra information, but he doesn’t say anything, thus, he humiliates himself both in her eyes and his own. Even if the marriage can be saved in the end, there can be no talk of family happiness. NEVER KEEP SILENCE ABOUT CHEATING.

Sometimes we're afraid that the beloved one will leave. But according to statistics, if a partner doesn't leave the family six months after the start of sexual relationship with another man/woman, then out of 100 people, only eight breaks up! Most of us extremely dislike cardinal changes, we're afraid of them, thus, to grasp how to move on after being cheated on is harder than it seems. Nevertheless, it is not necessary to experience a wild fear that your second half will leave and never return.

Of course, if a man begins to suspect the girl and put a lot of pressure on her, becomes possessive and scandalous, the woman may want to leave not because of him but these clashes. Partners appreciate comfort and peace in their families. If you don't want to end up like this, and if you have the strength to step over a difficult stage in your life together, then you need to behave calmly, kindly and confidently.

Make up the situation in your head, discarding the emotions of resentment, as far as possible. Are you ready to understand and forgive cheating? If you are ready, it means that all gossips and the words of other people should be treated accordingly. But forgiveness must be earned. When you immediately forgive a woman for cheating, she realizes that she is the main value of your life, which means that she can do the same once again, and you will forgive her again. Therefore, it isn't necessary to arrange a grand theatrical performance to make the girl feel guilty. As we've said, the main thing is to do it without scandals, quietly and calmly. You can share your feelings with someone, but then come and say in a calm manner, "You know, dear, now you think and do something for our relationship."

How to Heal After Being Cheated on

An affair of a woman has always been a greater misfortune than this of a man. The latter is often regarded as an "easy" affair, fleeting and not significant for him. Female cheating is often associated with deep feelings, and it often occurs after the spiritual connections between her and her regular partner have already broken. And this is one of the worst tragedies that are difficult to cope with for the rest of your life.

How to Deal with Being Cheated on: the First Reaction

Things to do after such news.

• Stay alone for a while. Without pouring grief with alcohol, without sharing fury and resentment with friends, just stay alone with yourself and your emotions.
• Think about why the spouse did this. What behavior could push her to this step? Listen to yourself and try to understand whether you love her, and if not, for how long. If you do love her, it will be the basis for further decisions and actions.
• Divorce is the easiest solution, but not the most necessary one. Getting over being cheated on is more difficult, but if the feelings are still here, it is worth forgiving her, if not immediately.
• If rage and anger blow you away, try to understand that this is really happening and do not give an outlet to these temporary emotions. Being cross, you can do something that you'll regret for the rest of your life. Do not raise your hand on her, no matter how painful it is to you, do not humiliate and insult her because you will not be able to change anything later.
• Try to learn the reasons for cheating, the real ones. Whether you could influence the situation, or nothing depended on you, this can help you calm down and overlook how being cheated on changes you.

What Is Better Not to Do?

• Do not persuade her or beg. Do not threaten her or her lover, it does not help. This will not bring her feelings back to you.
• No need to revenge. It is the perfect way to end your marriage.
• Do not tell everyone around about personal tragedy, do not look for support, do not expect advice from your friends. Tips from them may be useful, but the final decision is still yours.
• Do not blame yourself. Woman's cheating is her choice. Although you could be the reason for this, you don't need to look for who is to blame but to understand what the next move is.
• Do not get excited and do not make decisions in the heat of emotions. Put your feelings in order, regain your emotional balance to make a reasonable and balanced decision.
• Do not avoid communication and conversations with the spouse, do not ignore her, punishing with cold silence.

How to Forgive Someone Who Cheated on You

If you understand that cheating is not just suspicion and fear, and the signs she cheated on you last night are too vivid, the main thing in the first stage is not to become too emotional and keep calm and prudence. First of all, decide what you want, do you want to leave immediately or maintain a family life? A man often cannot forgive female cheating, but if while trying to imagine your life without her, you suffer, then it is better to accept her repentance, no matter how difficult it may be.

In any case, if you decide to stay with your partner, you need to forget about what happened. Advice from a psychologist and psychotherapist can help figure out how to get over being cheated on and stay together. If this is a competent specialist, then you should not abandon their recommendations. Their professional experience will help resolve the situation as painlessly and quickly as possible and learn you how to trust again after being cheated on.

Do not try to figure out all the details of what happened. Try to understand what a spouse was looking for in a stranger that was not enough for her in a marriage with you. Think about the reasons that could push her to this act. What was the reason for cheating?

Talk to your wife and listen to her motives. Without criticism, but for understanding how a woman feels after being cheated on. Keep yourself in hand and try to take into account the information, not emotions.

You can live separately for some time, while the emotions subside, and the mind can calmly make a decision. It will be easier for you to assess what kind of future you want for yourself — along with someone you cannot live without, or away from them. Fathom how important your feelings and life are with this partner. Remember what connected you before, how many wonderful moments you've had. Feel if you are ready to forget this and leave it in the past.

If you see that personal feelings are hurt so much, and you can’t find any answer to the question, “How to forgive someone who cheated on you," think of the children if you have them. Imagine how they would react to parent's divorce when their world is their parents as a whole. Then they will have to choose whom to love, perhaps, with whom to live, and this choice will not be easy for anyone. Sometimes, only for the sake of this, it is worthwhile to let go of the situation and restore your feelings for the spouse. It is necessary to forgive sincerely, without remembering later this "moment" to her in every quarrel. Try to perceive her cheating as a painful condition, an accident, a kind of neurosis, from which you are ready to cure her.