Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

In the fabulous period of planning a wedding, the bride and groom can often forget about planning their future life, while this is the key to a long and strong relationship between the spouses. Disagreements that later “crawl out” here and there arise because of the lack of communication. Before you go to register your couple status legally, you need to have the answers to so many questions. Today we are going to help you define those questions as well as talk about legal things to know before getting married. If you are planning to make a proposal, prepare an engagement or have a wedding soon, read below to find out a lot of interesting facts!

questions to ask before getting married

How Long Should You Date Before Getting Married?

If a marriage license doesn’t mean anything, then what’s the problem with getting it? And if the marriage is capable of destroying the relationship, then what is it even worth?

It sometimes happens that the man strongly denies to get married and explains that he doesn’t believe in the official regulation of the union of two people. But what is the point in these relationships then? What is he so afraid of? Unfortunately, these “protracted relationships” (5 or more years) when a man “gives up” and agrees to marriage under the pressure of a woman, are doomed to collapse. What should be, however, mentioned is that marriage is neither an end of romance nor a beginning of a daily grind! Marriage is a form of relationship between a man and a woman, the logical and natural continuation of two loving hearts wanting to register their union.

At the beginning of a relationship, people get to know each other, stay on alert, communicate, meet, and go through the first stage of a love story. Then the connection becomes more intimate making the partners closer. Over time they introduce their partner to their inner circle, becoming an official couple for others. And what is all of this for? After spending a period of time together, people decide that they are ready to tie their lives together, ready to make their final choice and start a family, and then have children. And it is natural and normal! No one should be afraid of marriage, only immature people are scared to make this decision if nothing is against it.

In our opinion, a period of two years is perfect to study a person deeply and to recognize them in various life situations. Of course, each case is different, but if you were looking for the specific time limits, this is what psychology says. Perhaps you are an extremely insightful person who has learned to understand people quicker than others, in this case, you will need less time before you get married.

There are so many things to know before getting married, and you should take your time to investigate them. In the first year, there is a big risk of making a terrible mistake marrying the wrong person. Because in the first 12 months our mind is still occupied with the hormones, the feeling of being in love, and passion. On the other hand, what else can you learn about a person after 3 years of dating that you didn’t know before? If you cannot answer the question, “Is this person suitable for me as a husband or wife? Do I want to live with him (with her)? Am I willing to have children with this person?” for so many years now, then let's be honest. You do not want a family with this person! So, how long do people date before getting married? It depends, but 2-3 years is enough, on our humble opinion.

Things to Know Before Getting Married

Here is a list of some aspects of life, which partners must know about each other before getting married and starting a family.

things to discuss before getting married1. Conflict situations

Any couple, even the most loving one, cannot avoid conflicts. It is difficult to remain rational and control yourself when the soul is overwhelmed with emotions. You need to discuss some points in advance. For example, a woman should let a man understand what she will never tolerate and what will be hard for her to forgive, and vice versa. Discuss how you will resolve conflicts in advance in order to prevent domestic violence.

2. Obligations to support or care for other people (former spouses, children, parents)

Marital status and previous connections are among the most important questions to ask before getting married.

3. Children

Before you start a family, future spouses should discuss whether this family will grow, when this will happen and how many children you are ready to bring up. Do not forget about maternity leave: now men are more and more willing to accept the role of a housekeeper, and, probably, your future spouse will also not mind hiring a nurse.

4. Religion

This is also important if you plan to have a big wedding and a church engagement ceremony.

5. Sexual expectations

It is better to engage in sex than to talk about it, but the second option is also necessary. If there are disagreements between spouses in bed, this can result in marriage giving a crack. And such problems are almost impossible to patch. Then the spouses either begin to look for sex "on the side" and continue to live together or get divorced. So, talk about such things, do not be shy. Sex is also among things to talk about before getting married.

6. Financial aspects, including real estate, debt, income

Many people don't feel comfortable asking their love about money, that is why such important things to consider before getting married are often postponed until later. However, financial well-being is one of the main basics that keep any relationship together. In reality, people have certain needs. It is financial problems that often cause quarrels between spouses, so it is very important to talk about the future budget. Will your income be joint or everyone will have their own duties to pay for, this purely family-owned question, but it definitely requires discussion.

7. Career plans and planning a budget

If you plan to pursue a career immediately after finishing the process of getting married, your future spouse should know about this. As well as you should know about their plans for a job. Career-related things to discuss before getting married include:

  • the prospect of moving abroad if there is an opportunity for a promotion;
  • the likelihood of getting additional education;
  • how satisfied you are with your current position;
  • who will be with the children immediately after their birth;
  • how commonplace duties will be distributed between you.

8. Surprises ("skeletons in the cupboard"), which can cause later problems

Legal Things to Know Before Getting Married

One of the things that you should do before getting married is to get familiar with some legal aspects of the state registration of marriage. So, here is some information as stated in the administrative code in the majority of countries.

Marriage is a complex phenomenon that is, on the one hand, under the influence of the law, and on the other hand, under the influence of moral standards. Marriage is a matrimonial family relationship between a man and a woman. One of the fundamental principles of legislation is the prohibition of any form of restriction of the rights of citizens during the marriage.

Marriage is a legally executed and voluntary union of a man and a woman, aimed at creating a family and generating mutual rights and obligations. In this definition, literally every word matters:

  • If the marriage is not legally registered, the two will not have mutual rights and obligations and are not legally recognized as a couple;
  • If the marriage was not a voluntary union, it may be invalidated;
  • If the marriage was not aimed at creating a family, it may also be invalidated;

things to do before getting marriedMarriage must be registered at a civil registry office regulated by the government. A marriage cannot be registered by any other authority except the one chosen by the state. Otherwise, it does not give rise to rights and obligations that are connected by law with the emergence of marriage.

The information mentioned earlier is not always easy to obtain. However, each of the future spouses has the right to know the true state of affairs of their partner and to determine whether the marriage will be successful. This information should not be discussed at the very beginning of the acquaintance or long before the engagement. Together with your partner, you can try to resolve the most difficult issues, but some things will inevitably cause conflicts, and those are things you should avoid at all or not getting married to such a person.

Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

The solemn moment is closer than ever, the wedding dress is purchased, and invitations are sent out. But are you and your lover ready for such an important step? What should you do before getting married and how to make sure this person is really the love of your life? Ask him/her a few questions before you go down the aisle with them.

1. Why do you love Me?

The first and most necessary question that your future spouse will have to ask, “Why do you love me?” Many people find this question stupid, but, nevertheless, it does matter. And by the way, the answer, “I love you just because I love you” does not count. If your future spouse already claims that they truly love you, they will certainly know why they do it. In other words, for what reason? Are they impressed with your beauty, or have your intelligence conquered them? Or maybe they saw an outstanding personality in you?

2. Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?

The answer, "Because I love you, baby" does not fit for one simple reason. The fact is that any passionate love is wont to end at the most inopportune moment, so there must be some other reason. Your lover should understand why they've offered you to grow old together.

3. Will you grow together with me?

The world around us changes rapidly, and we simply can’t afford ourselves to stand still if we want to keep up with it. Your partner should always be familiar with your plans for the future and understand your longing to develop and grow. Every individual would want to realize themselves and achieve certain goals in life. That is why your lover shouldn’t expect you to hide inside the boundaries of your family nest. Always ask your spouse whether he/she will support you in and grow together with you.

4. Will we stick together in difficult times?

Troubles happen, as well as good times come and go. So, only a lover in need is a lover indeed. Your beloved one should be near you in the times of hardships to be your main support. At least because they gave a wedding promise to. Otherwise, why do we even need to get married?

5. Are you ready to give up some things in favor of the relationship?

When we used to be children, our hearts were open to love, we accepted it with no abashment and gave back as much as we could. But as soon as you grow up you realize, love is a big work, and you need to contribute to it daily. Only if your future spouse is ready to set priorities correctly, he/she will put your feelings in the first place.

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